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I Cried Today

 

A man who shows his feelings is weak I was told when I was a boy. A man who shows sorrow, pity, fear, or any emotion that provokes emotion is not a man at all. No He is not, He is a hu-man. Then I am human.

 

I cried when I realized how much I destroyed my life and others.

I cried in pain when a two year old boy looked at his broken down father and looked at his mother and asked “Is Daddy gonna be alright?”

I cried when I found out that they were willing to forgive me.

I cried when I came to the realization that God had given me the ability to change.

I cried when each of my children was born, especially my daughter, because she would not ever see her father drunk and out of control.

I cried when my oldest son crossed the stage at his high school graduation.

I cried when second son crossed the stage at his high school graduation.

I cried when my daughter crossed the stage at her high school graduation.

I cried because I realized a chapter in my life had ended and a new one was starting.

I cried when my second son received his Bachelor of Arts Diploma.

I cried because they achieved more in their short lives than I have in a lifetime.

I cried because God gave me the ability to realize how blessed I am.

I cried and asked God to not let my children grow up like me.

I cried with every thought of uncertainty about the future of my wife’s and mine relationship, not because it’s bad, but because I could not stand being without her.

I cried when my son left to go to Jordan. Letting go is hard even when you know God will take care of them better than you did.

I cried when my family and I were traveling in Teton National Park and came upon the Travelers Chapel. I wondered why anyone needed a church to worship in when the greatest example of His creation was all around me.

I cried when after spending five years straight with my family for a week at a resort and having so many fond memories gained I knew it would be the last time we would do it. Another chapter closes and another begins.

To be continued because I know something or some memory will make me cry again.

 



...the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it. - The Lion King

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